On The Little Rocks
(On Being Too Old For This Shit - Part 2)
(On Being Too Old For This Shit - Part 2)
Wow. One month can change everything. One decision to meet friends from out of state and rent a cabin in Northern Virginia can change EVERYTHING. And it did. The little rocks always make the biggest splash.
The day after I posted the last blog entry, the guy from up north, (hereafter referred to as Eric), informed me that he was feeling the same way. It was the most remarkable, fanstatic, and frightening thing I've felt in a very long time. Since then I've flown up to meet him, and he's come down here for a weekend. In between there have been video chats, five-hour long phone conversations, endless text messages at random times, and a little sobbing. And when it rains with me, it really does pour, (pardon the cliche').
I found out about the time I posted the last entry that I was being screwed, in a big way, at work. Some things I already knew, I just decided to face the facts as other things came to light. I won't go into the details, but timing is everything. Eric was experiencing similar problems at his work. And here's where things get interesting - we decided that whoever, between the two of us, got a better job offer, would stay where they were - and the other would move closer to them. A long train of bad days and hard contemplating later, I submitted my 2-weeks' notice. And in two weeks, I'm moving to Rhode Island.
My life never changes in small ways. It stagnates for a year, maybe two or three, then boom - I'm in another city, in another state (or sometimes Country), and my life is nothing resembling what it was prior to some small event that set off a rapid chain-reaction.
When I moved to England from SC, the time from contemplating a move to getting on the Heathrow-bound plane - roughly a month. From UK to Charleston (supposed to be temporary) - two months. From Charleston to DC - about a month. DC to Providence - a month. So here I go again...
What makes this different? I'm not even sure, other than the fact that my gut tells me this is right. And that's the first time that's ever happened. I've never made a decision so in line with my gut feeling. I'm interested in finding out what the results will be this time.
For the first time I love someone enough, want to be near them enough, to make a decision like this based on someone else. I'm entirely ready to leave a city that I'm also in love with, to go to, of all places, Rhode Island. And I have no regrets, no worries. I'll miss Yarnell more than I can say, but something tells me we'll be near each other again.
I've been in a bad place for the past several months. I've been bored, unsatisfied with my job, lonely and living in a small, musty basement bedroom with no light. I've been waiting for this, in a sense, but I had no idea the form in which it would come. Isn't that always how it goes?
In a sense, it was the deision to move to DC that set off these events. Or, before that, a decision to permenantly place myself at a Marriott Property, moving from a staffing placement firm for whom I worked. Or, tracing back, the decision to begin work as a temp for that firm, a whim I got from glancing an ad in the newspaper. Or, the decision to stay in Charleston. Or the decision to move to UK. Or the happenstance idea that occured to my Mom, who planted the idea in my head. Or the time I first met Eric, (sort of - long story in itself) a few years after that, while in Charleston. It's the little rocks that make the biggest splash. It's those ripples that bellow out to the edges of the pond and back.
For once, I can say without the slughtest doubt, I am completely, totally, happily, fulfilled. Like the first time I had a hangover, and realized I never knew what one was before that, I'm in love. Whenever at the end of our visits, I'm left with a bigger hole.
Last Monday morning, a few hours bfore Eric was to get back to the airport, we lay in bed for an hour and cried. For a long time neither of us were even sure the other was sobbing. It was then, when I felt the hurt of missing someone that deeply, that I was sure. No matter what happened I had to be near him.
It still amazes, shocks and baffles me that someone this beautiful, this dynamic, intelligent and full of life, loves me back.
It's always the little rocks.
The day after I posted the last blog entry, the guy from up north, (hereafter referred to as Eric), informed me that he was feeling the same way. It was the most remarkable, fanstatic, and frightening thing I've felt in a very long time. Since then I've flown up to meet him, and he's come down here for a weekend. In between there have been video chats, five-hour long phone conversations, endless text messages at random times, and a little sobbing. And when it rains with me, it really does pour, (pardon the cliche').
I found out about the time I posted the last entry that I was being screwed, in a big way, at work. Some things I already knew, I just decided to face the facts as other things came to light. I won't go into the details, but timing is everything. Eric was experiencing similar problems at his work. And here's where things get interesting - we decided that whoever, between the two of us, got a better job offer, would stay where they were - and the other would move closer to them. A long train of bad days and hard contemplating later, I submitted my 2-weeks' notice. And in two weeks, I'm moving to Rhode Island.
My life never changes in small ways. It stagnates for a year, maybe two or three, then boom - I'm in another city, in another state (or sometimes Country), and my life is nothing resembling what it was prior to some small event that set off a rapid chain-reaction.
When I moved to England from SC, the time from contemplating a move to getting on the Heathrow-bound plane - roughly a month. From UK to Charleston (supposed to be temporary) - two months. From Charleston to DC - about a month. DC to Providence - a month. So here I go again...
What makes this different? I'm not even sure, other than the fact that my gut tells me this is right. And that's the first time that's ever happened. I've never made a decision so in line with my gut feeling. I'm interested in finding out what the results will be this time.
For the first time I love someone enough, want to be near them enough, to make a decision like this based on someone else. I'm entirely ready to leave a city that I'm also in love with, to go to, of all places, Rhode Island. And I have no regrets, no worries. I'll miss Yarnell more than I can say, but something tells me we'll be near each other again.
I've been in a bad place for the past several months. I've been bored, unsatisfied with my job, lonely and living in a small, musty basement bedroom with no light. I've been waiting for this, in a sense, but I had no idea the form in which it would come. Isn't that always how it goes?
In a sense, it was the deision to move to DC that set off these events. Or, before that, a decision to permenantly place myself at a Marriott Property, moving from a staffing placement firm for whom I worked. Or, tracing back, the decision to begin work as a temp for that firm, a whim I got from glancing an ad in the newspaper. Or, the decision to stay in Charleston. Or the decision to move to UK. Or the happenstance idea that occured to my Mom, who planted the idea in my head. Or the time I first met Eric, (sort of - long story in itself) a few years after that, while in Charleston. It's the little rocks that make the biggest splash. It's those ripples that bellow out to the edges of the pond and back.
For once, I can say without the slughtest doubt, I am completely, totally, happily, fulfilled. Like the first time I had a hangover, and realized I never knew what one was before that, I'm in love. Whenever at the end of our visits, I'm left with a bigger hole.
Last Monday morning, a few hours bfore Eric was to get back to the airport, we lay in bed for an hour and cried. For a long time neither of us were even sure the other was sobbing. It was then, when I felt the hurt of missing someone that deeply, that I was sure. No matter what happened I had to be near him.
It still amazes, shocks and baffles me that someone this beautiful, this dynamic, intelligent and full of life, loves me back.
It's always the little rocks.
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